Fridge Notes
by luckystars135
Summary: ...Please refrain from posting your notes on the fridge. I can hardly see the handle anymore." Lover's spats, pet names, annoyed arrancar, and a large dosage of insanity. Slight OOC-ness, I guess. Rated for safety.
1. Las Noches

**Got really bored and had major writer's block on Little Bundle of Joy, so I'm just writing this for fun.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. Obviously. And if you think I do, then you might have some personality issues. For heavens sake, I can't even draw a stick person.**

* * *

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

WHO TOOK THE LAST POPSICKLE?!?!

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Obviously I knew you needed therapy, but I didn't think it was that much. You ate the last one yesterday, dumbass.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

Someone's in a bad mood.

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Szayel,

_Anyone_ would be in a bad mood if they weren't getting any sex for three days straight!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

Aww, is wittle Nnoitwa sad that Hawibel isn't giving him any?

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Go fuck yourself.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

Refrain from bad language here. Zommari is blanching every time he gets near the fridge these days.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Go fuck yourself.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

Just because I don't have sex with you for three days doesn't mean you can take it out on the other Espada.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Halibel!

So does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

No.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Aww, now you've done it. Nnoitra's been sulking for the past few days. It's making the place so much gloomier.

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

It's not my fault.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Why are you so mad at him in the first place?

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

Please refrain from posting your notes on the fridge. I can hardly see the handle anymore.

Aizen

**XxXxX**

(one week later)

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

It's been a week, do you think we can post again?

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

I suppose so.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Have you seen Halibel and Nnoitra these days? They're not starting their shouting arguments across the breakfast table anymore.

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Szayel,

They were making such a rukus Aizen-sama put them into privet rooms for the time being.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Szayel and Ulquiorra,

JUST BECAUSE I'M IN PURGATORY DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Do you suppose he uses his fraccion?

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Szayel,

Obviously. No one else would listen to him.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Mina-san,

What's this all about?

Orihime

**XxXxX**

Orihime,

Hey. We're just discussing Halibel and Nnoitra.

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow-san,

Halibel-san and Nnoitra-san? What's wrong with them?

Orihime

**XxXxX**

Hime,

Nnoitra's charged for sexually harassing Halibel. I don't think Halibel considered it rape, however...

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Thank your for staying on my side. Heavy sarcasm implied.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

...Your welcome.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Halibel-san,

So have you and Nnoitra-san made up yet?

Orihime

**XxXxX**

Halibel!

I still don't know why you're mad at me!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

The next time you contact me on the fridge I'm going to ignore you.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Bel-Bel,

Come on, don't do this!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

...

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Bel-Bel,

I'm dragging you into the next closet I see you pass.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

You will die.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Bel-Bel,

Don't tell me you didn't like that. After not having sex for over a week, you could not have _not_ liked it.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

Leave me _alone_.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

Oh my _god_, I am getting a big headache. Can anyone get them to shut up?! I can't even eat dinner in peace!

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Shut the hell up.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

Take your lover's spat elsewhere. I want to puke everytime I see the fridge these days.

Gin

**XxXxX**

Noi-bear,

If you don't leave me alone, I'm not giving you sex for a _month_.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Bel-Bel,

Don't do this. STOP GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Noi-bear,

You deserved it.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Bel-Bel,

Man, my bed is so empty when I'm alone at night. PLEASE. I'm BEGGING YOU. Can we just kiss and make up?

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Noi-bear,

...Ugh. FINE.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

(one week later)

**XxXxX**

Noi-bear,

Why are you giving _me_ the silent treatment now?! What did I do to you?!

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Bel-Bel,

I'm just showing you what it feels like.

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

Hey, Bel-Bel and I are going to a vacation in the living world! Have fun in hell!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Hime,

...Are they finally gone?

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Qui-chan,

I think they are.

Orihime

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra and Orihime,

NO. Don't you two start using pet names on here. I will POISON ALL YOUR FOOD IF YOU START DOING WHAT HALIBEL AND NNOITRA DID.

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

At least things are calm now. No more lover spats over the table.

Stark

**XxXxX**

Mina-san,

Did you guys hear about Gin and Matsumoto?

Orihime

**XxXxX**

ORIHIME,

DON'T START THIS CYCLE AGAIN!!

Espada

**XxXxX**

* * *

**Heh. That was kind of fun to write. I think I'll make one in the Soul Society. It doesn't really matter. ^.^ Please review.**


	2. Squad Ten

**And...here's Fridge Notes in the Soul Society. I kind of had to start with my favorite squad--sorry!**

**So we're starting with Squad Ten--Matsumoto and Hitsugaya! (And a few other people who managed to poke their heads into the group.)**

* * *

**XxXxX**

Taichou! :)

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

What is the meaning of this?

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Taichou,

We're passing notes! On the fridge!

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

Yes. I can see that. But why?

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Taichou,

Halibel told me that they did this! And she said it was pretty fun. But Gin said it was annoying.

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

That's because it IS annoying.

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Taichou,

Aww, don't say that! It's so fun! Look, we already covered one side!

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

That's the bad part, smart one.

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Shirou-chan,

What're you doing?

Hinamori

**XxXxX**

Momo,

Hey, Momo! We're passing notes on the fridge. Do you want to start too?

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

I don't know...is Hitsugaya okay with this?

Hinamori

**XxXxX**

Bed-Wetter Momo,

Actually, I'm NOT okay with this.

HITSUGAYA, NOT TOUSHIROU

**XxXxX**

Momo,

He's perfectly fine with it.

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

I said I'm NOT.

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Taichou,

Aww, don't be like that, Taichou! Why don't you ever want to have any fun at all?!

Matsumoto

**XxXxX**

Matsumoto,

Because this is annoying. If you keep this up, I will _take away your sake for a month_.

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Hitsugaya,

Heh. That sounds a lot like a certain discussion we had in Las Noches.

Gin

**XxXxX**

Ginger,

Hey honey! What'er you doing here?

Kitty

**XxXxX**

Matusmoto,

'Kitty'?!

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Ginger,

Ignore Taichou. Hey, do you want to go out for a drink? We could get Kira and Shunsui and a few others together!

Kitty

**XxXxX**

Kitty,

Sounds like fun. The only people in Las Noches that drink are Nnoitra and Grimmjow, and they're not that much fun to be around. Expecially since all Nnoitra does is complain about Halibel once he's drunk.

Ginger

**XxXxX**

Ginger,

Goodie! Taichou, do you want to come?

Kitty

**XxXxX**

Shirou-chan,

It sounds like fun! Why don't we go?

Hinamori

**XxXxX**

To everyone who's concerned,

I WILL NOT go out and waste myself over a few stupid bottles.

Hitsugaya

**XxXxX**

Ginger and Momo,

That's a yes from Taichou! Let's go! It can be a double date!

Kitty

**XxXxX**

"MATSUMOTO!!!"

Nanao paused as she passed the tenth-division building, but then shrugged it off. It wouldn't be the first time that Matsumoto did something that pissed off Hitsugaya. Actually, everyone in the Soul Society was pretty used to those two.

However, Nanao was pretty sure that Matsumoto would never be able to persuade her captain to do something he didn't want to do.

How very wrong she was.

* * *

**Ack. This is a lot shorter than I thought it would be. But I'm in serious writers block in about EVERY fanfiction I'm writing, including my novel-in-progress, so this was the only outlet I had. -.-; Oh well. Please read and review! **

**Also tell me who you want me to do next! I'm thinking about doing either the Ryoka or maybe even just all of the Lieutenants. Tell me your ideas!**

**~Lucky**


	3. Espada and the Raiding Party

**Sorry about completely abandoning this fic for so long (along with all of my others -.-;), but I'm back! Or at least for now. You just have to learn that I'm a very lazy person. But I'll force Nel into a cupid costume and toss out cybercookies to all my reviewers, okay? ^.^**

**Thanks to SithKnight-Galen for the idea. And yes, I will take ideas since my creative juices need a taser to get started. -.-;**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach. If I did, I'd know Japanese, which I look at with a 'huh?'. Just wanted to clear that up.**

* * *

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

Woah! The arrancar's have mountain dew! I didn't know that!

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki,

Please inform me as to why you just taped a sticky note to our fridge.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Well, you know we're kinda saving Orihime, and it's been ages, and the desert was really dry, so I was like, "What the heck, I'm thirsty, so I'm just going to find the kitchen and get myself a bottle of water." But guess what! I didn't know you guys had mountain dew, so I kinda took one of those instead.

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

KUROSAKI,

OI, WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Hey you retard, yelling on a sticky note will do you no good. And who were you--HOLY SHIT. KUROSAKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Espada,

You guys are really good hosts. Yell at your guest, why dont'cha? :(

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki-kun,

I-Is that really you?!

Orihime

**XxXxX**

Inuoe!

There you are! But...where are you?! Just tell me! Come on, we have to get back and get ready for the Winter War!

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki,

Fool, I delivered that note for her. You are not allowed to communicate otherwise with the person you are trying to save.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki-kun,

But at least it's good to hear that you're safe. Where are the others?

Orihime

**XxXxX**

Inuoe-san,

We're here.

Uryu

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki,

Would you believe how fancy the bathrooms here are?!

Renji

**XxXxX**

Renji,

I dunno, I got lost trying to find one. These stupid tunnels all look the same! I always end up back at this stupid room, but that's fine, since there's always mountain dew.

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Raiders of Las Noches,

We don't recall telling you to make yourselves at home.

Espada

**XxXxX**

Espada,

We don't recall telling you to talk.

RLN

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Hey, can we borrow a few bedrooms? It's really tiring running around in circles. And it's been about a day already that we've run around without sleep.

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki,

No.

Ulquiorra

**XxXxX**

Ulquiorra,

Stuck up. And Ishida, did Chad or Rukia end up here yet?

Ichigo.

**XxXxX**

KUROSAKI,

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE HELL YOU DO WITH HUECO MUNDO, BUT FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP TAKING THE LAST POPSICKLE!

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Um, no, that would be me.

Rukia

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Would you have wanted it in the first place? It was lemon flavored. Your least favorite.

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Rukia-motherfucker,

I don't care the _hell _about what the flavor was. I swear I will kill you if you take another one of my popsickles. Especially the orange ones!

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

Grimmjow,

Oops.

Rukia

**XxXxX**

Rukia,

YOU PIECE OF DIPSHIT!!!

Grimmjow

**XxXxX**

(This is blank because the fridge has been destroyed by Grimmjow)

**XxXxX**

_(One day later.)_

**XxXxX**

Espada,

lol i like this fridge more hi how have u been doing

Nel

**XxXxX**

Neliel!

What the hell are you doing here?!

Nnoitra

**XxXxX**

Nnoitra,

duh im with itsygo and the nice ppl to get back the girl with big boobies

Nel

**XxXxX**

Nel,

Nel! How did you get to this room?

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Ichigo,

You seem to have forgotten that Nel lives here.

Szayel

**XxXxX**

Szayel,

That wouldn't have been the first thing that he forgot.

Uryu

**XxXxX**

Ishida,

That was mean.

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Kurosaki,

Thank you.

Uryu

**XxXxX**

Everyone,

You know what, we might as well call a temporary truce just to calm down.

Halibel

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Agreed.

Ichigo

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Agreed.

Uryu

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Agreed.

Rukia

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Agreed.

Chad

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

Agreed.

Renji

**XxXxX**

Halibel,

yes!

Nel

**XxXxX**

Aizen felt as old as he actually was for once, which is something new. It must have been his age finally catching up to him. He sighed, seeming to deflate the slightest bit, glad that no one was around to stare at him. Which was strange in it's own way.

Usually, the Espada would be running around, causing a ruckus and making him wish that he was just back in the Soul Society and all he had to put up with was a fluttering Momo. But these days, there was no shouting, and was no running and crashing into expensive pieces of limited edition furniture. Aizen had a sneaking suspicion that all of the Espada had simply _died_, but that would have caused a commotion with the fraccion, who he _also_ hadn't been seeing lately.

Aizen sighed again, pushing open the kitchen door. Perhaps a cup of coffee would-

He froze.

Ichigo, Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Renji was sitting around the table, each of them holding a hand of cards and a pile of poker chips sitting at the center (which they constantly shuffled around), the four arguing and calling triumphantly every few seconds. Grimmjow had a popsickle in his hand (orange) while Ichigo was hogging one of Tousen's mountain dew, swinging it back every few seconds like one would do with a beer bottle. Ishida, Ulquiorra, and Szayel were talking, leaning against the counter, each of them holding what appeared to be a glass of wine. They seemed to be discussing something that Aizen didn't even understand; the words were too big. Neliel, Rukia and Halibel were laughing and gossiping at a corner, probably just swapping girl stuff. Stark was curled up like a cat at one corner of the room, a small smile on his lips while Yammy and Chad were tossing a what appeared to be a fifty-pound metal ball back and forth at a blurring speed.

Aizen blinked, turned around, and walked right back out the door.

_Note to self...hallucinations when tired..._

* * *

**Lol. Poor, poor Aizen. But wouldn't you be tired if you had to put up with the Espada?**

**Anyway, please read and review! And please be patient if I don't update again soon.**

**Ciao,**

**Lucky**


End file.
